Ways

My escapades along life's course made the disaster in me grow.And I no longer feel my pain,but I can feel the one tormenting the persons I care for. And this is much worse. Ripping my organs like a deep frostbite, making my eyes blooded and my taste a haven of bitter flow. Tearing apart this vessel that awaits the return of my soul, all my emotions are buttons of self destruction. And for that I cannot allow them to exist. I must suffocate them.
How far can I go? How can I perfect myself when I crave so much for human flesh? Staring at a phone to see a message. Or hopeing it will break my guarded sleep. Longing for something I never had and never will. Mourning every night when your voice does not dare to bless me. To doom me for a daily mortal sin. I am not human. Nor I pretend to be immortal. I am what's left from the centuries of decomposed might. The premonition of something on the verge of slipping your hands. The fear and the bad dreams. And you don't deserve to get drown in this. It's like all those self-proclaimed warriors, the ones sent from the forces of the evil and so many others that mock death...but there will be no moment in their pathetic lives in which only the mere glimmer of death will not make them cower in fear.
Me? I am pure. Not innocent; not without a stain. Pure in my own wicked ways. So to preserve me, I must stay alone. No human emotions. No unrequited love. Cause only this way I will be able to complete. Only this way I can keep you all safe.