In front of me

My reader. I understand your pain... Yes,I've been drinking again.Like an addict I claim I have no problem. The quintessence of all things runs through my veins like a mud filled river. Tonight I close my eyes understanding that I've lost my own game. How foolish! How can you lose a game you've made all the rules for? Well, I can't answer you that. I'm darkened in my sight, and all I say to you now might become irrelevant... like me.

I look at the sky and see, as geek as I might be even in this troubled hour, Neptune. The first planet to be discovered by mathematical calculations rather that just observing. In a pushing method it's the same way... it's feeling rather than seeing. What the hell is that supposed to mean? I don't know...I don't know anything for certain..anything beyond any doubt for a while now. What I urge you to do though, is look at the sky... see the star...the planet in front of you. Then close your eyes, and slowly, let it corrupt your senses. Until you'll only see what really matters in life. In your life...