Fairly...

I can say I am fairly intoxicated by this point.Not with the life or so,but...alcohol.To convey my shame I think that all the people subject to being called genius had a unusual love for acohol.Somehow I think is logic to numb your brain if you want to live in a lesser world.It's about pleasure.I enjoy a cold beer in a summer heat, I adore a wine sparkling on my lips.I cover myself in the smoke of a cigarette,and above I love my girl. A woman screwed up by life just enough to cope with the level that I'm fucked up. A smothering silk skin with the perfume of flowers yet not discovered by humans.Divine in her plea for my soul. A concept for my life. Just a simple symphony that Mozart in all his past and current glory couldn't have written.
I am damned for my sins and the sins of thousands of souls I have slaughtered. Passed redemption in a way that no human immagined god can deliver me from. I fear nothing. No , I have feared nothing. Creating disgust in people souls and rejected by most I have constrained myself to seek pleasure and relief in most mundane,yet undiscoverable things. Luck is something I don't believe in,still I am amazed by it.How else could such a woman find me? Being far of immature touch,and still so fresh and fragile, I owe her nothing less but my breath. You,my beloved reader might not understand. I am bound by birth to love once. I am sickened enough by flesh to be mistaken. But through all that, when I go to sleep, I see her eyes. Foolishly trying to find in me a touch of humanity,and so lovely I cannot ignore.I know the debt for being me. And I am likely to lose the things I cherish.It's likely for me to lose her. But my friend,you are my witness that no matter how my cursed corpse will decay, and how corrupted my inside will be, I will always love the woman who hanged herself above my restless fire, just to make me see I can still be loved. And I trust in you, that when my mind would finally leave me,and my tremor will be a constant one, you'll tell her how much I loved her every heartbeat.And what nothingness I'll feel if she would,even for fair reasons,leave me.